WaAaAaaCkYonger

"'YOUR MOM GAY I'M QUIRKY' - WaAaAaaCkYonger"

The Character:
he's fuckin' wacky and salty and weird

His Life:
After being called gay and a salty little bitch after the raid on Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen Wackyonger became depressed. His favorite song was K.K Blues and soon, he became an alcoholic. He would drink up to 4 or 5 bottles of whiskey a day at his favorite bar Paddy's Pub. The bartenders never thought to kick him out, as they have never made this much money before. Wackyonger's bank account was empty and he had no more money, he was homeless. Wackyonger roamed the streets of Philly before meeting Carfield, the person that would change his life. Wackyonger would watch Carfield drive aimlessly letting the flow of the road take him. Wackyonger enjoyed watching him speed past by everyday, but he knew that at any moment his liver will give out. Wackyonger wondered why the world was so cruel, why people discriminate, why people live around money. All of a sudden, he had an idea. What if he made a booth where people could watch Carfield zoom past. He wanted people to see the true meaning of life, to just go with the flow, the booth had no charge as Wackyonger just wanted people to see Carfield. The booth had been up for 1 month and Wackyonger had gotten a couple of donations from people that were really impacted mentally by Carfield. Wackyonger had gotten almost $200 in donations, but he didn't care about the money, the only thing he cared about was sharing this message with the world. He used the money to make advertisements, these advertisements brought in new people. New people, more donations, and the more money Wackyonger would use to improve the booth or advertisements. Wackyonger was finally happy... But that didn't last long. A gang of mischief making kids graffitied the booth and all of the advertisements, they had even vandalized the path that Carfield used. Wackyonger was ruined and the only person he could turn to was Carfield, but Carfield moved to a different path. He walked all the way back to Philly and walked back into his favorite bar, he thought his drinking days were over, but they were about to start all over again... With the money he had left Wackyonger drank 10 shots of different alcohol substances, the more he drank the more his liver started to die. Wackyonger took one more sip, and with his dying breath he said "Keep driving Carfield...". Wackyonger was pronounced dead that day, some people say that his spirit now lives within the passenger seat of Carfield.